May 07, 2008

Trev's had a baby..

Img_8429 Ok, so Trev from JACK's Morning Glory is now the proud daddy of little Emily..

We've had a little chat in his absence about how we see this will affect him...(and us!)...

The main thing we've noticed is the instant deduction in testosterone levels.. Not only has there been a sizable decrease in time spent with his 'mates' - at the - (insert a word here like football, basketball, pub, or any other blokey activity).... but there has already been a few quick and very noticable changes..

Such as .. rather than discussions of sport that we all used to just pretend to be interested in..Phone conversations with our new dad have changed to discussing what cottony paddy things he is buying at the shop... How he spent the evening rocking her to sleep with her first taste of music (Bryan Adams best of cd).... and how long it took them to put the pram together and get Emily sorted for the first walk...

Secretly we think this is rather lovely - but would never tell him this - and as he NEVER reads the blog - know he won't see  it written here either.

So alas gals, that continuing question hangs there - where have all the real men gone?

At JACK we've got Glynn, who to put into perspective, quickly and gleefully flicked straight to The Sex In The City Movie update in the paper today - only to find it was titled 'hello gals and gays'....  say no more..

and Greg, who spent yesterday shopping for new t-shirts in town, only to bump into Jeremy, Entertainments Editor at The Oxford Mail (who also does our movie reviews every Friday)..... The way Greg tells it, they were standing in town with Jeremy rustling through Greg's shopping bag critiquing his purchases.. Just like us gals would do..................................!

Again.. where are all those REAL men hiding?..  I fear the answer is, in dressing rooms trying on new t-shirts that their mates will hopefully like .

x

Sue @JACK

April 20, 2008

What is it about Ikea?

and more importantly, why is it I have not thought of a similar business to make myself a fortune?

Seriously... it's BASIC furniture and BASIC accessories. There is stuff in that store that we would walk right past if someone was selling it at a market stall for £1, mumbling under our breath ' cheap tat'... yet put it inside that giant blue and yellow building, and we all go 'OOOOOH. What a bargain.. let's get two!....

Don't get me wrong.. I have long participated in 'The Ikea family day out'... You may be familiar with it? You decide you need an extremely vital product only Ikea sells, e.g candles (!)... and convince yourself their cheap price makes it worth the hour drive (and petrol) to go there... To be fair though, this weekend they were doing 21% off everything instore on Saturday, thus those £2 candles were now about £1.60...

So there we were Saturday evening.. 6pm, we set out to visit Ikea, armed with a map from Oxford to Milton Keynes, kindly provided by Ikea.. (which we were able to print on our own paper, thus making us believe we had saved money in some way no doubt). Being somewhat suspicious of the route, the first thing we did was ring Trev, after all he was known as Mr Milton Keynes, having worked there for many years... he answers the phone, we ask ' is this the How To Direct Us from Headington to Ikea Helpline'? .. his response 'Certainly is, do you want me to talk you in, we are in the store right now' ! 

What a great feeling of relief (no not that we could get directions - more about not being the only saddos in Ikea on a Saturday night)... Subsequently we use the handy printed map from Ikea to turn over and scrawl down a couple of directions from Trev, and take a completely different route via Bicester...

An hour later, we are weaving our way through the store marvelling at the displays, opening drawers, oohing and aahing at the tidiness of these not actually used by real human beings displays...imaging how that perfect kitchen would look in our home... (the truth, which you do not want to accept instore is that kitchen would look perfect, we would just have to remove a bedroom and possibly the living room in order to fit it)..

We spend I guess it was a couple of hours wandering the store.. I feel a bit of a failure because all I pick up is a little bag of stones (you know the type - polished, sit candles in them).. and a pair of dish scrubbing brushes for 29p, which are for work anyway, as i'm sick of finding a smelly wet cloth sitting in water)... 

I notice that down in the area where you collect your flatpack furniture there is a strong smell of chipboard and extremely raw pine. Somehow I do not feel upset at not making any major purchases...

As we line up to pay for our purchases with several hundred other people (by now it's about 930pm) we are surrounded by bags and boxes dropped by people who obviously made the error of coming during normal hours and gave up on the queues. (Or perhaps died of exhaustion, and their bodies were dragged away to the flatpack coffin section out the back)...

My favourite memory of the night was the guy in the line behind us who had a flat trolley, piled high with boxes, on top of them was a red Ikea cushion.. and lying upon the cushion was the head of his 8yr old daughter, who was dead to the world, stretched the whole length of the boxes.    They even managed to scan the boxes without waking her.

How we both wanted to be her..

x Sue

April 09, 2008

Trev is officially a porker!

It's official, I am a lazy good for nothing layabout that will never have a six pack again...I had one once, honest,I have a photo somewhere, I will dig it out, thats of course if I can find it, because I am so lazy I can't be bothered to look for it!  I stated in a recent blog that after the last golf trip of my life (with the baby coming, according to every wannabe golfing Dad, the other beautiful game has very little chance of letting me have a hack for quite some time) that I would head down the pool, cut out beer during the week and leave the potatoes and pasta to Mrs Marshall...Well....That was a complete load of BS...I have eaten more in the last week than I have ever done, I don't know what is wrong with me, I look at food and something in my head says "EAT IT, GO ON, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO"....

I put this down to the latter stages of pregnancy and Mother Nature making sure that as a Father in waiting, that I will be healthy and have the strength to support my family! Pregnant women in the last trimester 'nest', they clean, clean, tidy, nag, clean, tidy and order other people around them to clean, tidy, clean some more, hoover, wipe, dust, throw things away that are not needed and definately not to nag back! Nesting is well known ahead of the big push, but for the men, as far as I can tell have their own word ending in ING, its FEASTING..It is obviously sympathy pregnancy, I too want the attention of strange women coming along to pat my belly and asking when its due, I love all that! We were out with some equally pregnant friends last weekend (both Women and Men!) and when we said that we were going to take a cast of the belly, one bright spark spoke up and said 'but won't that take the hairs off your belly when your pull it off'....I said that my wife was a little hairier now with all the hormones, but not too bad.

That was the night I found the spare room - thats only because our bed is no longer big enough for the two of us!

March 18, 2008

The Trip to Dublin...

And what a comedy errors the weekend was!

Here's how it went... Greg and I were supposed to be on Friday night's plane to Dub out of Heathrow.. 8:45pm.. You'd think that would be plenty of time... Alas the day got away from us, we left work at about 5:30pm, rushed to my house, I had 5 mins to pack a bag, we then were blessed by the big traffic god who gave us a great run down to the M25.... where ... it... all... stopped...... and when I say stopped, I mean stopped...  But that's ok, about 20 minutes later we were on the road into Heathrow... and .... again... moving about a foot every 5 mins....  Then there was the joy of Parking Express... Not sure where they got the word Express from, although, come to think of it, the buses in the carpark managed to pass all of us waiting no less than SIX times looking like they were some kind of Heathrow Express service on a mission to get their empty busload of nothingless to Heathrow ontime... (insert the word GRRRRR here)..

Greg and I were running up and down the carpark like some freaky mouse in a lab experiment which was having a piece of cheese dropped at one end, then removed moments before they get to it. Having all but given up on getting on the plane, we were pleased to hear the news that our plane was delayed from a lovely girl on the counter at Aer Lingus. Well, actually, when I say lovely girl, I mean sour faced rude cow who glared at us and treated us like we were two unruly teenagers because we DARED be late for a plane. You would have thought the sweat pouring off us, the look of desperation, or the fact we were running when we got to the counter may have given away the fact we were well aware of how late we were, and hadn't been just hanging around in the bar picking fluff out of our navels.. So of course we were disgustingly rude and self righteous in reply to her comments and glares. (in our minds).. To her face we smiled and were awfully humble and apologetic.

We then sat and waited another flipping hour for the plane.. Jesus - it hadn't even landed at Heathrow, let alone been disembarked or cleaned when we checked in. An uneventful flight across to Dublin until we were coming down to land.. at this point Greg was fast asleep with his flash git iphone in his ears, so missed the moment the engines kicked in again, and we started to climb again. As it turns out, the landing was aborted, because of ... wait for it.. wait for it.... A FOX ON THE RUNWAY! Mind you, the animal loving side of me felt for the fox... although I suspect it wasn't care that made them abort the runway.. more a worry about where the bits would fly if we hit the little feller...

Anyway.. enough of my ramblings.. It rained a lot.. we met a lot of nice people, the Guinness Storehouse were brilliant, Greg and Trev got a chance to meet my mates in Dublin ( I worked at a station from 2004-2006) and as Trev says - it's like your new person meeting your ex.. Fortunately they got on well, and got to see some of the none tourist sites as we hung out with the locals.

x Sue

March 12, 2008

Glynn's JACKtionary - words you never knew you needed, but need NOW

Who else but Glynn would be qualified to rewrite the dictionary?

Bashmatic

From the word ‘Basmati’ – a type of Indian rice and the word ‘asthma’ – a medical condition.  It describes the type of person who goes for a curry and always orders the hottest thing on the menu.  Then, when they eat it, they wheeze so hard it seems like they have asthma.  For example…

‘He likes the butter chicken, but he always orders the vindaloo, he was wheezing so hard I thought he was basmatic.

See also ‘Kormaeleon’ – from the curry dish ‘Korma’ and ‘Chameleon, the colour changing animal.  This describes a person who, by contrast, orders the tamest dish on the menu, but then insists on trying all the other curries on the table, some making them go red, and some making their face go pale. For example:

‘Did you see how many colours her face went, she’s a right Kormaeleon.’

Rebrownding

From the word ‘resounding’, meaning amplified or greater, and the surname of Prime Minister Gordon Brown.  This word is used almost exclusively as a sarcastic term – suggesting a lack of success in a policy or action which should really have been a real crowd pleaser.  For example:

‘Oh, the trade deal you signed the week that Northern Rock collapsed was a rebrownding success, wasn’t it?’

See also ‘Cameronbelieveable’

From the word ‘unbelievable’ and Cameron, from the leader of the opposition.  This describes a policy that seems to be popular, but at the same time seems too good to be true.  For example:

‘So, the Conservatives are going to cut taxes and improve the NHS and education, that’s a little Cameronbelieveable, isn’t it?’

Chronillogical

From the word ‘chronology’ - meaning an ordered passage of time, and the word illogical meaning not logical.  This word describes when time goes much slower or quicker than you think it should.  For example:

‘Writing that letter has taken me three hours, then yesterday I made three deals on the phone in fifteen minutes – it’s chronillogical.

See also chronplimentray

Also from the word ‘chronology’ and the word ‘complimentary’.  When you whip up something very quickly that people think you’ve spent ages on.

‘Oh, no – don’t worry, it didn’t take me long at all - I just cooked it from frozen, I didn’t do much at all, but that’s very chronplimentray of you’.

Whoahbese

From the exclamation ‘whoah’ and the adjective describing the clinical condition of being too heavy, namely ‘obese’.  When you see somebody who is so fat that you’re surprised that their thigh bones don’t snap under the weight, and you suspect that they may wash themselves with a rag on a stick.

‘Now, I’ve seen some fat people in my time, but thjat guy is Whoahbese!’

See also Skinexplicable

From the word ‘skinny’ and the word ‘inexplicale’.  When you see somebody so thin you wonder how they actually managed to fit all of the organs necessary for functioning as a human in their body.  For example:

‘Did you see those catwalk models, somebody needs to invent a sandwich cannon to fire food in their mouths, they’re just skinexplicable!’

March 10, 2008

Another Trev Blog on a variety of interesting and not so interesting things

If Nigella Lawson's husband, Charles Saatchi, can lose four stone in weight over the last few months, then I can give that a go! Now, so you understand I don't need to lose four stone; At this point Greg would pipe up and say "more like 8 stone Marshall" - For clarification I am 5" 7 and weigh about 13 stone, so I need to shed about a stone and a half - And I will do it!

I did it a couple of years ago, over a period of  a month I lost about a stone and a half and through not looking after myself the timber has slowly piled back on! There are times in your life when you have to change your lifestyle and look after yourself and before Baby Marshall comes along at the end of April, this is the right time. We are preparing the house for the little one and I guess its a good time to make sure I am fit and healthy for the onslaught that is parenthood! I am in my mid to late 30's, (still hanging on to the mid bit) and that is the time when health issues are right in your face....

This week it is Prostate Cancer awareness week and I am going to get it checked out on air later this week. And after getting the news towards the end of last year that I have high blood pressure now is the time to sort things out and get back to body beautiful - Sue and Greg stop laughing.

I am off to buy some scales this afternoon and then bring them in to the studio and I can set myself some weight goals over the next few weeks. if you are of a similar age and are going through the same thing then drop me an email and let me know how you are getting on.

The way I am going to tackle this and lose the pounds is in a similar manner to what I did a couple of years ago....No bread, no potatoes and no booze during the week and the odd swim, thats what happened last time...but we will see, the older you get the harder it is to shift the weight!

Be back at you over the next couple of days with the first weigh in and then watch the weight fly off!!!!

March 03, 2008

Why do Men die first?

Poor old Trev is supposedly brow beaten and can do no right at home.. So he put the words he thinks every man feels into song.. (remember Baz Luhrman's Wear Sunscreen song from a few years back)...

This is how it went..

Why do men die first? This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation,

First: If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy. If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her. If you don't work enough ... you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that’s favouritism.

If she gets a job ahead of you ... its equal opportunity. If you mention how nice she looks, it’s sexual harassment. If you keep quiet ... its male indifference. If you cry ... you're a wimp. If you don't ... you're an insensitive b@stard. If you make a decision without consulting her ... you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman. If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's domination. If SHE asks you ... it's a favour.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ... you're a pervert. If you don't ... you're gay. If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist. If you don't ... you're unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape ... you're vain. If you don't ... you're a slob. If you buy her flowers .. you're after something. If you don't ... you're not thoughtful. If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself. If you don't ... you're not ambitious. If she has a headache ... she's tired. If you have a headache ... you don't love her anymore. If you want it too often ... you're oversexed. If you don't ... there must be someone else.

Why do men die first?

Because they want to.

X Trev @ JACKfm

February 20, 2008

Trev's learning it's hard to be a grownup

Trev’s Blog Update....

Thanks for all the emails with regards to the Top 10 things not to say to a pregnant woman...Listen out in the next couple of mornings and you will hear the results...And if producer Sue thinks they are worthy of our tasty bits then you can also catch them between 9 and 11 on Saturday morning. They will also be added to the blog next week – so one way or another you will see your handy work, there are some real gems in there!!

We have started ante-natal classes over the last week with the National Childbirth Trust...its not CHILDCARE, its Childbirth...This was the first question to the group of 10 of us and yes I stuck my hand up and said that the C in N.C.T. stands for the latter...WRONG and everyone got a handle on me very quickly!  Our first session was Enlightening, Frightening and Tiring (finishes at 10pm and then to bed for 4½ hours!!) – The tiring bit was the excuse I gave for getting the question wrong!

Like any first day at school, everyone was nervous at first and it was a quiet start as we checked each other out. I noticed that when we were asked to swap email addresses some couples had joint family email addresses smiths@hotmail bla blab la, the competitive gene in me was rearing its ugly head. It flared up again when I spotted one of the other couples had matching his and her trainers...Mrs Marshall later pointed out that we would never venture down that route...Just wait though until they are buy one get one free in George at Asda, then we will be walking round like twins – the force will be too great not to bow to the pressure of the bargain!

2 learning points from the session, (apart from the fact that we must get a family email address)...

1 – The female Pelvis is amazing..I am not suggesting that if you are dating someone new or if you have a friendly female work colleague that you bring this in to the conversation as quickly as you can, but the flexibility of that little device allows the wonder of childbirth...Mrs Marshall  now loves her Pelvis..Me too of course!

2 – The baby could arrive early, in fact it could be three weeks early!!! This has put in doubt my annual golf trip with the Chestnuts golf society where 30 of us all meet up and have a few ‘Man days’...I will get back to you on this one...still working through negotiations!!

There was loads about the actual anatomical workings of the female body, which again is amazing – Far better than us men, obviously we can reverse park, which goes some way in to alleviating the agony of us being the weaker sex when it comes to all things biological!!

Any way, drop me an email with either a yes I should go for my last ever golf trip or No I should stay and play the waiting game!! The email address is Trevor.marshall@jackfm.co.uk

Trev

February 18, 2008

A question from Sue

When did people become SO DAMN RUDE?

I was at the BP on Woodstock Rd the other day when I witnessed a guy yelling at the poor fellow behind the counter to .. and I quote 'GET IT RIGHT THIS TIME'!.. Have you ever felt like you are witnessing a bad scene from a 1970's movie, or worst still, you are stuck in one of those awkward moments that supposedly pass as comedy on The Office?.. That's what we all felt like!

Then I was in London on Sunday when a guy refused to pay... wait for it.... 90p for a bus ride.. Now he was making a point, because he had paid to go on a train which was not stopping at his stop that day.. But to spend 15 minutes abusing a driver who then shut down the bus, called in a code red, and left us all sitting there thinking  'Will we get off the bus.. or will we be stabbed if we walk by him'?.. Ok.. possible over reaction there.. but this is 2008.. it was London, not Oxford, a gal thinks about these things...

After trying to rally the rest of the stranded people on the bus to donate about 5p each to pay the guys fee so we could just get where we wanted to go, I then realised they were all bigger chickens than I.. (the moment the back door opened and they long jumped a jump an Olympian would be proud of, I knew my plot was doomed).....

Anyway.. my point is WOULD IT HURT US ALL TO SLOW DOWN, TAKE A CHILL PILL AND BE NICER TO EACH OTHER?

Siiiigh... at moments like this I realise I have grown old..

Right... off to watch some Ameriacan TV on an illegal website months ahead of it playing here..

(just joking.. no doubt I will watch something on that BBC iPLAYER thing.. horribly LEGAL.. and once again confirming I have become old.)

x Sue

February 17, 2008

Trev's been away on a freebie...

What I learnt about Dubai!!

As far as I can tell Dubai is positioning itself as the new, New York and from what we saw it is well on its way! Me and Mrs Marshall were there for four days and tried to see as much as we could, the old and new, the big and the bigger and the sublime and the ridiculous; the ridiculous being the opportunity to tuck in to a chocolate fountain for £87 in the iconic self rated 7 star hotel that is Burj Al Arab…despite Caroline being pregnant and as ever loving chocolate, that was a price too far for sitting in the lobby like the guests at a house party that don’t know anyone and they nervously sit by the front door waiting to find the right moment to leave. We chose to have a look at the outside from the equally expensive adjacent hotel, the Jumeirah Beach Hotel, although first budget holiday tip for you is go to this hotel and head for the restaurant on the beach and you can enjoy a pizza with the Burj Al Arab as the back drop for what it will cost you at Pizza Express..In Dubai you want to make sure you know where the bargain restaurants are situated, as we were informed on the Big Bus Tour around the shining star of one of the seven United Arab Emirates, Dubai means you can DO loads and BUY what you want and that is true in DOBUY!

Now, I am not using Wikipedia or the guide book, this is off the top of my slightly pink from the Middle East sunshine head, the main indicators why that the over used, scripted bus tour statement is spot on and why I can’t wait to go back;

Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum (ok, may have looked that one up), is the Prime Minister of the United Arab Emirates and the Ruler of Dubai, the man with a vision to make sure Dubai is to have a prosperous future beyond 2016, when the Oil, that of course has fuelled their economy, is literally going run out! The Sheikh is obviously protecting his own interests, but I guess he could have sat back and let one of his 17 children worry about the future, no way as far as I can tell. The man that has been connected to buying Liverpool FC and has a few decent horses in his stable is going one furlong further than most of his counterparts in that part of the world and his building a city, that will see them strive forward many more years after 2016. I have to say that is the full extent of my knowledge of this well educated fourth generation Al Maktoum, but what he is pushing for in Dubai is, for me, to be admired. Those who prefer the green fields and the picturesque views of Oxfordshire may disagree, its fine to love both you know and there is, I am sure, a big debate to be had by some on the local and global effect on the environment,  but that is for another blog, this is what I loved about Dubai.

In one city, that currently has a rapidly growing population of 1.4 million, of which 80% are Ex-Pats, you can Ski in real snow, in what is effectively a giant freezer, you can go down to the beach, buy cheap gold from one of the old Souks (markets), take a trip on the Dubai Creek in one of the old Dhows that fight for space on the overcrowded waterway in the old part of the city. You can go horse racing, camel racing and there is plenty of sailing boats to watch racing off the coast that start from the Yacht club. There is one of the world’s finest golf courses, the Emirates, that is already firmly placed on the tour and there is another one opening up soon, that some bloke called Tiger Woods is building and then naming after himself, the cheek of it – by the way if you want to buy some land to build on around that impending course then ask the bank manager to loan you around 10 million pounds! With the loose change you can then buy an apartment on the Palm. Much has been said about the new island off the coast that is linked to the mainland by a 3 lane motorway..some of the facts; You can see it from the moon, (has anyone confirmed that, don’t think it was there when Buzz and Neil were there), it has been engineered using the same methods that has seen the Netherlands reclaim all their land back from the sea. The apartments were first being sold for approx £600,000 off plan, when they first went on sale 6 years ago, they are now  adding the finishing touches that could see them going for about 2.5 million pounds! The Palm shaped island has taken only 5 years to build, an incredible feat, taking in to consideration the size of the project, it has added a further 520km to Dubai’s coastline and that was the main objective of the Ruler of Dubai, to increase the coastline from the original 72 km. With the success of the Palm and the other two palms under construction and the ‘World’ project that has featured in papers all around the world (ironically) it will increase the shoreline to a whopping 1500km! That is when the tourism numbers will be at a projected 15 million a year, at the moment 5 million tourists venture to this little part of the Middle East with a big future.

If you fancy a long weekend away It is well worth going to see this amazing place; You will walk around with mouth wide open as you try to take in the major construction work that goes on and on 24/7, that in itself is strange when you think about actually walking around what seems like the world’s biggest building site and enjoy looking at all the heavy hot  work that is taking place. To me it felt like walking in to the Wonka factory and seeing the Oompa Loompa’s working away, you see them get off the buses and work their socks off all day and all night. In reality most of them are shipped in from India, Pakistan and China and work for next to nothing in searing heat. This is one area of criticism that the ruler of Dubai seems not want to directly answer! You will see the plans and the concrete for the new automated driverless train system that will open next year (the traffic jams is one negative I will not forget), the billboards that cover the vast area of work that has already begun for ‘Dubailand’ (I kid you not) that has promised to be bigger than Disneyland in Florida, Universal and Dreamworks studios see the future is sandy and have staked their claim in the dunes as part of that project. And all this is towered by the endless skyscrapers that tower above the two ends of the city – the Old financial sector and the newer, beach/marina area that is where the bulk of the work is going on.

There are two things that to me sum up Dubai; Firstly the opening of the World’s tallest building later on this year in the city the Burj Dubai (Burj means Tower in the Arabic) is amazing in the fact that if any other country wants to muscle in and steal the title of the Worlds tallest man made construction away from them, they have added the failsafe of adding more floors to the 2km high building in what can only ever be described as the Lego effect! Amazing to think that when the offices, apartments and hotels open up inside this awesome yet weird pistol looking building there will be more people inside it on daily basis that work and live in Oxford and Bicester together – that may scare some of you, I know it does me! Are you getting that they don’t do things by half? You are right, the new shopping mall which will sit at the bottom of the Burj Dubai is going to be called the ‘Mother of All Malls!!’

And lastly, I mentioned that you can see the Palm from the moon; Well if someone ever dared to find out that in fact you can’t see the Palm from the moon, the ruler of Dubai will no doubt get NASA in to build them a moon that you can see it from – Now that is Dubai!

My Photo

JACK building

  • Prog_office_news_2
    First pictures of JACK fm's Broadcast Centre